I Said WHAT???

As a parent I've said things I never thought would come out of my mouth.  One of my favorites has always been "Don't lick the dog."  Another of my favorites is "Cats don't wear chapstick."  After those words escaped my mouth I immediately threw away all of my chapstick.  You know, just in case that wasn't the first time she had tried to put it on the cats.  Especially since she was trying to put it on the cat's butt.  Gross.

Today was another of those priceless expressions.  We were getting ready for Tae Kwon Do and trying to get out the door.  Paige stopped at her toy box to pick something to bring with her.  She decided she needed a pink princess tiara to wear during class.  I actually said the words, "Sorry, Paige, but we can't wear a pink princess crown during Tae Kwon Do class."

How many parents have said that one?

Earning Shoes

We've been trying to figure out when Paige could have her shoes back.  She's been good here and there, but nothing super special.  Most nights she has a melt down over something horrible, like her peas and carrots are touching on her plate.  Oh!  The horrors!  Peas and carrots touching!  They came frozen that way in the bag, and I'm not separating them out.

Aunt Wii's sister was over last night and suggested giving her back a pair every 3 days for being good.  Definitely a good suggestion.  I told Ronnie about it and he gave Paige a list of things to do every day.  If she does them every night, then she can pick a pair of shoes from the overflowing Olive Garden take out bag.   Nothing too horrible; in fact very simple things.

1. Eat supper 
2. Wash her hair
3. Bathe herself
4. Brush her teeth
5. Listen to bedtime stories

All of that must be done without whining and complaining.  Once she's told to brush her teeth we don't want to repeat ourselves five or six times. 

Tonight Paige did all of these.  Whining was kept to a minimum.  Actually, it was more speaking that whining, so it was acceptable.  Paige picked her sandals.  She's been wanting them the worst.  Every morning she's asked if she could wear them.  Tomorrow she gets to wear them.  With a dress.  Since she got dresses back on Sunday she's worn a dress everyday.

Another incentive we've put out there is a movie.  If Paige can be good every day from yesterday through Saturday, then on Sunday we'll go see Toy Story 3.  We've planned to take her to see it, but we think she should earn it.  Especially with the attitude we've been getting lately.  I hope she can make it.  I really want to see that movie.  I've waited 11 years for it.  

Remember, she's only 4

I keep repeating this phrase to myself over and over.  She's only 4.  She's only 4.  It has to get better.  We've had some trying times lately, and I see us getting onto Paige more and more often it seems like.  I thought about something Beth posted in a comment about getting perverse pleasure in being more stubborn than her kids.  I realized this is partly true of me as well.  I'm stubborn.  Ronnie is stubborn.  So it shouldn't surprise me that our child is stubborn.  Genetics works folks.  Over the past weekend I actually stopped and asked myself if I was getting on to her about something that was justifiable or was it just to be more stubborn.  It was almost all justifiable.  If she has a friend over and won't share toys, she can sit in her room until she's ready to share toys.  She can't order me around the house to do her bidding.  I will not be spoken to that way.

Another thing that made me stop to think this morning was my Facebook status:

Thank God it's Monday. I can take my grumpy, PITA 4 year old to daycare and go to work. Or, as I like to think of it, my 9 hours of not being a Mommy. Yes, she's been that bad this weekend.

A friend of mine in town for a few days commented on it asking about a lunch date.  That really made me stop to think.  Here I am complaining about Paige not acting right and here's my friend who lost her child suddenly at 21 months.  That lead me to think about my cousin who lost his 3 month old to SIDS.  Just after her funeral my uncle (the grandfather) was walking into Walmart with my aunt when they watched a grandmother yelling at her  4 or 5 year old grandchild.  The child had gotten fingerprints all over the clean windows after being told not to.  My uncle walked up to her and reminded her that glass cleans, she should be thankful she still has her granddaughter, since he had just buried his.  He said the look on her face was worth it, because it seemed to hit her what he had said.

Paige was over tired this weekend due to staying out past her bedtime both nights and not sleeping any later in the morning.  She still takes naps but didn't nap any longer either.  And somehow she's gotten this idea into her head that she can order us around the house like her servants.  That's not going to happen and needs to be stopped immediately.  Also, throwing toys and talking baby talk will not get her what she wants.  Unless what she wants is either a spanking or being sent to her room.  In that case, she got exactly what she wanted.

More Creative Parenting

Paige came back from Grammy's house with a bit of an attitude.  She got in trouble Sunday night for talking back and yelling at me.  She got in trouble Monday for throwing things.  She saved the best for Tuesday.  Tuesday was field trip day at daycare; they went to the skating rink.  Paige was bad.  Not a little bad, a lot bad.

She didn't listen, ran wild, and yelled.  She even bit the new boy.  Paige said the new boy was mean, but I really don't know since I haven't met him.  I will say his name is usually associated with bad boys, at least in my experience.  Either way, biting is never acceptable, unless you're eating lunch.  Paige was even so bad she got moved from the 4-K room down to the 3 year old room.  If she couldn't act like a big 4 year old girl, she didn't get to play with the big girls.  I think she hated that more than anything else daycare could have done.

Ronnie picked her up and got a full report on just how bad she was.  When they got home he tried to talk to her and find out what happened, and why she acted the way she did.  She refused to talk to him.  Instead she kept picking up her rain boots she had worn to daycare that day and tossing them around.  He sent her to her room to stay until we got her for supper.  By the time I got home supper was mostly cooked and sitting in the middle of the table was an Olive Garden to go bag.  It was full of shoes.  Ronnie left Paige 3 pair of shoes and packed the rest away.  She gets her dresses back Sunday.  She gets her shoes back when she can act nice.  Paige threw an absolute melt down tantrum when she saw her shoes packed away.  As Ronnie told her why they were packed it got worse.  This morning she really wanted more choice in her shoes and hated to get dressed.  She keeps looking into that large Olive Garden bag and trying to pet her shoes.  Either this will be very effective, or it will scar her for life.

Back to being parents

We picked Paige up from Grammy's house this afternoon.  She said she didn't want to come home with us, she wanted to stay with Grammy.  She only cried for us once the whole weekend, and that was only because she thought she was in trouble.  Paige had pulled something from the back of Granny's computer.  My mom, Grammy, didn't know how to fix it, so she told Paige they would have to get Uncle Kenny.  Paige was afraid he would be mad at her and started crying for us.  Once he told her she wasn't in trouble she happily went back to playing and didn't want to go home.

Ronnie worked yesterday and I enjoyed my day to myself.  I spent the day reading, relaxing, and just recharging my batteries.  This would have been better if my arthritis was under better control and I wasn't hurting quite so much.  I finished one book and started on another.  Ronnie got home last night and we just spent the evening watching a movie and enjoying the quiet.  This morning, we did something we don't normally get to do.  We slept past 6 am.  I can hear the other parents of small children wishing for the same thing.  We slept till 8:30 this morning.  And a big thank you to Ambien for that pleasure.  Our anniversary dinner got moved to an anniversary lunch.  Ronnie got home from work too late to grill last night.

This morning we relaxed more and watched another movie.  Our Netflix que is completely caught up for the first time in a long time.  We had a leisurely lunch of rib eyes with grilled asparagus and Brussels sprouts and sauteed onions and mushrooms.  After eating we went to get Paige.  We missed her and were ready to get her back.  We get to the store to pick her up and she was happy to see us, then let us know she wanted to stay with Grammy.  Of course she did.  She gets away with so much more at Grammy's house.  After the evening we had I'm sure she would like to go back.  Paige had an issue with talking back and sticking her feet in my face.  After some reinforcing of the rules around here, we're back on track.

Tomorrow morning it's back to the normal routine around here.  Paige will go to school while Ronnie and I go back to work.  We have a meeting Tuesday night about Paige staring K-4 in the fall.  I can't believe my baby is already starting school.

Weeks half way over

More or less.  Paige has been having a blast at VBS this week.  The first night she came home so hyped up on sugar and wasn't listening at all.  We had issues with brushing teeth and going potty.  Paige was told one more chance, if she was like that on Monday night, she wouldn't go back again.  Problem solved, Paige was much better the other nights.  Ronnie and I have watched a couple of movies from Netflix that were gathering dust.


This morning Paige and I were going over her schedule for the rest of the week.  Today was water day at daycare, then karate this afternoon, and finally VBS tonight.  Tomorrow she has a field trip to a bowling alley, then the final night of VBS.  Friday is ice cream day at daycare then she goes to Grammy's house for the weekend.  She's really looking forward to that.  She's especially excited about working in Granny's store.  Paige asked me this morning if she would be the boss.  I laughed and told her Granny is the boss.  That actually disappointed Paige. She was looking forward to being the boss and telling everyone what to do.  I didn't want to tell her that as a great grandchild she can get her way more than she realizes.  I'm not about to tell her that.  She has to figure it out for herself like the rest of us did.

Ronnie and I are trying to decide what to do for our anniversary.  It's a big one for us, number six.  Both of us were married before, and both of us divorced just after five years.  We're definitely celebrating making it to six.  We have decided on small gifts for each other.  Ronnie's is back ordered, but he said he's willing to wait.  This is what I'm getting him.  It's perfect.  As much as I plan everything else, our celebration is still up in the air.  We haven't decided if we're going out or staying in.

Creative Parenting

We've been having some issues at daycare.  Very unladylike issues.  Paige has been pulling her dress up and showing her panties.  We've tried and tried to make her stop.  And she does for a little while, depending on the punishment, but it never seems to last. We've tried talking to her, time outs, spankings, and grounding her for the night.  All of these have had varying degrees of success.  She'll stop for a time, then start back up again.  After the last time she did it I told her if she did it again I wouldn't let her wear dresses to daycare again.  That seemed to work for about a month.

Today when I dropped her off I was told she kept doing it so much yesterday they made her change into shorts.  Yes, I noticed she wasn't in a dress when I got home yesterday, I'm not that unobservant.  But she and Ronnie had been bike riding, and they always change out of a dress to ride bikes, so I didn't think anything of it.  No, she was being bad and showing her panties.  She also bit Cameron and threw rocks at windows.  The biting was an easy solution.  I told her next time she bites Cameron I will let Cameron bite her back.  Teachers may not be able to let it happen, but Mommy can.  Paige doesn't want Cameron to bite her because it hurts.  Hopefully that will stop her from biting.  Mac Mac, her teacher, got her to stop throwing rocks by letting her know if she throws rocks again she'll lose some playground privileges.  The dress thing was a bit more difficult.  I did follow through on my promise of no more dresses to daycare.  But I also told her I would talk to Daddy and we would decide on her punishment together.

As I drove to work I called Ronnie to talk about it.  I had told her she couldn't wear dresses to daycare, but that still left lots of other places to wear one.  There was still weekends, church with Aunt Wii, Grammy's house, lots of places.  Ronnie took it one step further.  She can't wear dresses for a month. Ronnie brought home a couple of small boxes from work and Paige packed up her dresses and skirts.  She understands why she can't wear them.  We stacked the boxes up on a dresser in her bedroom with the date on them of when she can wear them again.  I was going to take a picture to post here, but at the last minute Paige had a temper tantrum and got sent to bed in a hurry.  I didn't have a chance to snap a picture.

I'm hoping this punishment will be effective.  Paige loves to wear dresses and not being able to wear them for a month will be pretty harsh on her.  That may sound like overkill to some of you.  But we're hoping that by taking them away, by the time she gets them back she'll have broken the habit.  Or, she'll be so happy to have dresses again that she won't want to lose the privilege for another month.

Coolest Parents of the Year

And the award goes to US!  Here's why.

Before

During

After

Paige and Mommy both have pink hair now.  How many parents let their 4 year old have pink hair?  It's only a temporary.  It will wash out in a couple of weeks with regular washing.

Growing up too fast?

Every generation seems to think the one below it is growing up too fast.  And for the most part, I do agree that kids tend to grow up faster with each generation.  Advances in technology make it seem that way.  Some of our parents are just now learning to use computers.  We started using them years ago in the work place.  Our children were on them by the age of 2.  So yes, it appears they are growing up faster.  Paige can play a computer game, the Wii, and my iPhone really well.  She knows how to send a text message and what games there are on my phone to play.  (Thank you, Steve Jobs, for building in a lock feature which prevents her from calling Chine on my phone.)

I don't think Paige is growing up faster than I did.  Or at least not dramatically growing up faster.  I also don't think she's behind in her peers.  At least, I didn't.  She's 4.  She doesn't know who Hannah Montana or iCarly are.  She knows Phineas & Ferb, Spongebob, Dora and Wonder Pets.  She picks out her own clothes in the morning and usually puts her black pirate rain boots with whatever she's wearing.  Her clothes cover her body.  No bare stomach shirts, shorts cover her little bum.  You would think this would be the norm for kids her age.  But I'm learning it's not.

Over the past few weekends we've been to birthday parties at local parks.  Kids there, also around the 3 or 4 age group, are dressing in little midriff showing shirts.  Usually with Hannah Montana on them, or at least something else from her on their clothes. They are talking to their parents in rather nasty voices and expecting to get away with it.  Probably because they do.  I don't have anything against Miley Cyrus.  I'm not a fan of her music, but at least she wears clothes and isn't a horrible role model for young girls.  Paige just doesn't find her show interesting to watch.  I saw girls at Toys R Us dressed like small versions of their Mom, complete with the little dress and tiny heels.  Do our 4 year olds really need that?

I don't think Paige is sheltered.  She is just having fun and being a little girl.  She picks out her clothes, and for the most part wants jeans or shorts.  She likes dresses, but says she can't play as well on the playground in a dress.  She may go 2 weeks wearing nothing but shorts, then go a month wearing all dresses.  It all depends on her mood.  I see nothing wrong with some kids having their own cell, depending on the situation.  Not all guidelines apply to each situation.  I try not to look at kids at the playground and make snap judgments.  I will say that sometimes, that can be rather hard.

Board Games

A friend complimented me after Christmas saying she liked how we did so much Old School.  Well, Ronnie and I are older than most first time parents.  I'll be 37 next month, and Ronnie will be 38 in August.  We've bought Paige the toys we liked playing with as kids, and some of the ones we wished we had.  Sit and Spin?  Loved it.  In our house it's called the Sit and Spew.  Lite Brite?  Totally love that one.  She got it for Christmas this year.  We have updated some of our favorites from childhood.  Paige doesn't come home in the afternoons to play Atari, she plays Wii.  Forget playing the a black & white Gameboy; Paige can pick from the Nintendo DS or my iPhone.

Some things are just plain fun. They don't need to be updated.  All they need is a clear spot on the floor and maybe some popcorn if you're lucky.  Paige has had some board games like Candyland and Chutes and Ladders.  Today we were in Toys R Us to pick up a birthday gift, and found it was the last day of a great sale.  I picked up Hi Ho Cherry-O and Don't Break the Ice for $4.99 each (usually $12.99 and $9.99 each), plus Hasbro has a mail in rebate for another $2 off each one.  I remember playing Hi Ho Cherry-O for what seemed like hours with my cousin Steven as a child. It was his absolute most favorite game.  Even if I never send in the rebate, that was a great price for the games.

Tonight seems like a good night for family game night.  I feel the need to skip a bath, and spend that extra time playing games with Paige.  No batteries required.  All we need is to move the coffee table next to the wall, toss some pillows on the floor, and maybe pop some popcorn.  Sounds like a good evening to me.

Mommy is So Proud

We all hope that we'll raise kids who are like us.  We want them to be good kids who enjoy the same things we do.  Somehow I managed to get a little girl who loves pink and can be the ultimate girly girl in her ballet clothes.  I love lime green and my biggest girly indulgence is my pedicures.  We both love shoes, but that's to be expected, right?

First I'm proud that the washing her own hair concept is getting better.  That could be because of the bribe I offered, but I'm not positive.  Well, I am positive that's why, but I'll take what I can get.  If Paige can listen to us, and wash her own hair for a week with no screaming fits, we'll take her to Chuck E Cheese.  She's been begging to go for a few months now.  We've managed to put it off until now, so I think we did good.

Second, I'm so proud that she's starting to be like little versions of Mommy and Daddy.  I'm seeing some of our likes coming out in her.  What I'm seeing now makes me think she'll be a pretty cool kid to hang out with in a few years.  Yesterday we were driving home from daycare.  I had the radio on to a station that plays what they want.  It's mostly 70's, 80's, and 90's rock.  Ozzy Osbourne's Crazy Train came on.  I looked in the rearview mirror to catch Paige head banging.  She's been working on her head banging here and there, and it's the first time I've seen her do it to the right music.  Although, I will say that watching her bang her little head to Rascal Flatts is hilarious!

Then tonight on the way home, Paige started talking about a new toy she would like.  She said she really, really needs a pair of vampire teeth.  Paige has announced she likes vampires.  She wants to see a vampire movie now too.  I wonder if I can find a vampire movie she can watch.  I think there was a child vampire movie with the kid from Jerry Maguire.  She's definitely not ready for Bram Stoker's Dracula, or Anne Rice's Interview with a Vampire.  Twilight?  I enjoyed the books, but not really the first movie.  I haven't seen the second yet; it doesn't come out on DVD until next week.  Besides, vampires don't sparkle in sunlight, they burn up.  Everyone knows that.

It looks like there are some ways that Paige is like us.  She's enjoying the same music we do, and is showing some interest in our types of movies.  I wonder if this has anything to do with the first book I ever read out loud to her: Stephen King.  What can I say?  She was a newborn and he had a new book that had just come out.

Horrible Parents

We are such horrible, horrible parents.  Someone should probably call child services on us.  We sent Paige to bed at 6:30 tonight.  We told her that would happen if she threw a temper tantrum.  We had this conversation at the dinner table.  Then we repeated it again as I was running the water for her bath.  We were just trying to make sure she knew the rules before we got started.  Tonight was a big occasion.

You see, tonight Paige was going to wash her own hair for the first time.  Yep.  At the age of 4 we've decided to not wash her hair anymore. We've been having these little talks with her about how she's growing up.  It's time she did more things for herself.  Paige can put her own clothes on, but a lot of times she decides she doesn't want to; she wants us to do it for her. We've decided she needs to do these things for herself.  She knows how to do them, she just needs to do them more.

Paige, of course, threw a complete temper tantrum.  She was sent to bed early, kicking and screaming the whole way.  She's now in bed and sleeping peacefully.  She wore herself out from all the screaming.  We turned down the monitor so we couldn't hear her as well.  Then, being the super awesome parents we are, we put in a movie.  Yeah, as my child screamed and cried because she had to wash her own hair, we watched Zombieland.

She was better

Paige was better today.  When I picked her up today I was told she was much better today.  There was no hitting today and she didn't throw one today.  I was informed she needs to work on her listening skills; something I already knew from personal experience.

I had never heard the one minute of time out for one year of age rule.  We have tried time outs, spankings, taking away toys, everything.  This was her first ever grounding.  Granted, she spent the majority of the night playing with the toys in her room. But, she wasn't here with us watching TV and playing.  Paige likes to be in the center of the action.  Keeping her out of that and forcing her to be alone in her room was hard on her.  I'm hoping it was a lesson learned.  

Grounded

Paige is having her first ever grounding as I type this.  I picked her up today to be informed she had hit people and throwing toys.  Either one is not acceptable around here.  I sat her down and talked to her so she knew why we're disappointed in her.  Then I explained why she can't do that, and why she would be spending the evening in her bedroom.

I'm not sure what got into her.  We had a good weekend and for the most part she was good.  There were some sharing issues Saturday, but after she got past that things were good the rest of the weekend.  She made cupcakes with Daddy, played with Grammy, picked out books at the library with Mommy. Life was good.  Don't know why the sudden change in behavior, but hopefully we can get her back on track by tomorrow.

Play More Video Games

We told Paige this morning she needs to play more video games.  Most of you are probably looking at the screen thinking I'm nuts.  I probably am, but that's another post entirely.  We had some friends over yesterday and their kids have never played Wii.  We've had ours for so long that we think of it as just another gadget sitting next to the TV.  Don't get me wrong, we play it, but it's not some special let's get it out and play.  For these kids it was.  It reminded me that we've gotten to the point where we play it mostly after Paige has gone to bed.  We get into our usual after work routine and just forget it's there to play with.  After Paige is in bed and we're relaxing on the couch we'll get out the guitars and play Beatles Rockband, or I'll do my Active, or we'll play another game.  All of it after she's in bed.

Watching how much fun she had playing last night, we realized she's not playing video games nearly enough.  If we want to raise a proper Geeky Gaming Daughter, we need to get her playing more now.  She's young enough that we can make a definite impression on her that will last a lifetime.  We enjoy video games in this house.  Ronnie and I came home from school every afternoon as kids and played our Atari systems.  I went the Nintendo route, where he went the Playstation route.  Now we've agreed on Wii and are sticking with it. We're trying to reach that good balance of playing outside, inside with toys, and time sitting in front of the TV holding a game controller.  This morning we made her play more Mario Kart.  And she liked it.  That's my girl.